My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
