nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You have to summon your inner elephant
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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