Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
