my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
