is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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