Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Even my vagina gasped.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
