oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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