Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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