You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize