Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
