Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
