walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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