Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
