She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
