STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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