i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
