Your face is a jimmy john
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
