oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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