the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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