so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
