I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
