I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
