ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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