oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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