For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think I am morally bankrupt
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
