my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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