just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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