you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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