the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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