Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize