I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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