She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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