God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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