She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
