is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
