they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
