she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
