You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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