wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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