I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
