Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize