I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
