Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
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Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
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Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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