i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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