i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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