I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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