a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
