4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
