She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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