I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
