I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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