OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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