Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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