You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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