med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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