You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
