I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
