Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
