We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
