he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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