so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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